I'm still not sure what will work best to fit my self-expression needs ;)
I am trying a website, find it at www.betweenbrutalandbeautiful.weebly.com
Between Brutal and Beautiful
Monday, April 24, 2017
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
April 12 - out of my comfort zone. Nervous, exhilarated....raw emotion (...
I meet with another professional today on my path to reaching my fitness goal. Staying in bed seems way more comfortable. I don't think getting what you want ever comes easy.
I keep thinking, "What if this person makes me work hard?!" I see all these really fit people posting workout videos on IG and I get discouraged....I could NEVER do that / lift that.
I have to remember that I am just starting and all I can do is my best - they started somewhere too. Maybe I'll post a movie of myself bench pressing THE BAR to motivate anyone else just starting...it's an intimidating world the gym.
December 2015 Brody is born, life will never be the same
Saturday, December 26,
2015 at 2:54pm CST
So grateful to be visiting the hospital for someone living today,
and not someone dying.
Monday, December 28,
2015 at 3:59pm CST
Brody James Gillespie was born Dec 22 at 4pm. 6 pounds 9.5 oz.
20.5 inches long. It was a long, tough delivery and Brody is being taking care
of in the Nicu. We can't wait to bring him home as we await answers and see him
progress in small and simple ways.
*I barely posted a thing. I was so scared of the uncertainty and sounding naïve or being wrong or too hopeful. If I didn't admit the progresses, maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad if they were erroneous observations.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
A Blog is Born
Well, it's come to this. A blog. I have been documenting my grief journey through several outlets and I haven't found what I like best. Some days it's Facebook, some days it's Instagram, and some days it's Instagram My Stories.
I want the freedom to express myself in whatever way feels good at the moment and not get confused as to where I did it! I am hoping to bring it all together here. As I prepare to speak for a memorial tribute to families of people who passed away last year, I am searching old posts and videoed confessionals and it is just too spread out.
I think there are a few reasons I hesitated to start a blog as a vehicle for my expression, (I feel like I want to use a semi colon here, but really have no idea how to use one!)
1) I am terrible with my use of comma's and run on sentences - and other grammar things and I will try my best but I am not going to stress over it because it's the content that's important to me.
2) If I put my stuff on Facebook and Instagram I can somewhat force feed an audience - with a blog I feel like people have to COME to me, and I just don't know if I can take the rejection ;)
3) It feels like blogs are losing popularity and are a dime a dozen, I don't like thinking that when I pour out my heart it will get lost in a sea of bloggers.
4) I worry about "haters" and privacy. I want to reach people outside my circle in the hopes of helping others through my journey, but I tend to take constructive criticism too personally...
5) I like things in chronological order, in the past this has bothered me with my family history blogs. Plus I am considering moving my documented journey from other social media venues to this forum and I'm not sure how that will translate given this issue.
6) When given the chance, I RAMBLE. But I feel like when I start typing my thoughts and feelings it's as close to stream of consciousness as possible and some insightful stuff gets out there. Insightful to me anyway.
7) While I like cheerleaders and encouragement I dislike the possible misconception that I am "fishing" for compliments, or advice. This is my journey, it is what it is.
So, what am I trying to say? This is my attempt, it may or may not satisfy my path of healing through expression, and as a fair warning, it will most likely be unedited.
I want the freedom to express myself in whatever way feels good at the moment and not get confused as to where I did it! I am hoping to bring it all together here. As I prepare to speak for a memorial tribute to families of people who passed away last year, I am searching old posts and videoed confessionals and it is just too spread out.
I think there are a few reasons I hesitated to start a blog as a vehicle for my expression, (I feel like I want to use a semi colon here, but really have no idea how to use one!)
1) I am terrible with my use of comma's and run on sentences - and other grammar things and I will try my best but I am not going to stress over it because it's the content that's important to me.
2) If I put my stuff on Facebook and Instagram I can somewhat force feed an audience - with a blog I feel like people have to COME to me, and I just don't know if I can take the rejection ;)
3) It feels like blogs are losing popularity and are a dime a dozen, I don't like thinking that when I pour out my heart it will get lost in a sea of bloggers.
4) I worry about "haters" and privacy. I want to reach people outside my circle in the hopes of helping others through my journey, but I tend to take constructive criticism too personally...
5) I like things in chronological order, in the past this has bothered me with my family history blogs. Plus I am considering moving my documented journey from other social media venues to this forum and I'm not sure how that will translate given this issue.
6) When given the chance, I RAMBLE. But I feel like when I start typing my thoughts and feelings it's as close to stream of consciousness as possible and some insightful stuff gets out there. Insightful to me anyway.
7) While I like cheerleaders and encouragement I dislike the possible misconception that I am "fishing" for compliments, or advice. This is my journey, it is what it is.
So, what am I trying to say? This is my attempt, it may or may not satisfy my path of healing through expression, and as a fair warning, it will most likely be unedited.
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